Knackish Iris taking Ale

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These Days

That was one Bon Jovi and one R.E.M. song. For about two months I witness increasing harmful behaviour on the side of once OK persons that show no relation to each other. Let's not be so dumb to assume a conspiracy. It wouldn't even matter. What I face are stupid assholes. It makes no difference whether they give themselves flashy names or not. Well, we have an economic crisis, I heard? Typical that behaviour which should lead to decrease the population comes about. Instict-ridden not superhuman! You might well assume such persons to be completely unconscious factors in society. If you look up statistics about the population of Western countries you should see how mislead and in the wrong place this behaviour is, even if we are no more than cynical behaviourists or evolutionists. We could even be tempted to consume more of the things that harm us. I suddenly remembered something. It's simple: being able to behave like an absolute madman without any conscience is defintely a worthwhile survival technique. The fact that I have got such potential especially when threatened gives me hope. At the same time I have the side that does meditation, is rational up to writing philosophic essays, an active artistic potential and a knowledge of justice. I have no postive symptoms of a psychosis presently, which would be false beliefs or hallucinations. I just see what people around me do. I keep telling people that they should prefer constructive to destructive behaviour, but there's a certain amount of idiocy on their side when it comes to thinking about that. I am not nuts seeing that. It's exactly what any behaviourist would expect in the given economic situation. Occultists can do a bit more than most persons which means they have a bit more responsibility. I hope you all can choose the best in the situation we are in. I believe the problems in economy can be solved. Hope we can reduce the destructive hysteria before it causes worse problems than lack of money. You know about the economic crisis before World War II? At least Austrain Nazi Jg Haider died some months ago and everybody is making fun of Berlusconi. I don't see so much danger in politics at present. But in society some people are just going mad. They had me in their home for the less-concentrated already, like they had Nietzsche, Ginsberg and others. That was actually not even that bad. To them it's like you're dead, like they have defeated you. In reality it's just a backdoor. They let you out again anyway and as long as you're there you save money on food and are protected from everything. Sometimes you even meet nice other people who were pushed to the edge. If you remain calm you are not even gonna get a problem and just have your bed, your food, your mandalas, your coffee and your ciggys. These animals had done it to the suicidal punk I mentioned in the Tantra thread. I say it again: It's instict-ridden. But some will look for who can be trusted, so staying as rational as possible might not be the worst investment for the future.


  • It is strange. I faced so much injustice today, was even personally threatened, and found myself peacefully teaching ethics in a Zen way while I tried to fight back. And at the end of this there came a very altered state of consciousness spontaneously. The sensation to be a giant empty space looking outwards into the world without feeling distinct from it. The world was just within this space in a very subtle way. Look at that:ādhi From these descriptions it was more like Nirvikalpa Samadhi than any of the other states. It's not completely in line though with every part of the description. I had read about a meditation state beyond bliss on a German page recently and in my case there was no bliss involved. Hey, there can be Siddhis when you achieved that, this time there were none, but, fuck, hearing voices, which I once had, is considered a Siddhi. It can be seen as a sign for an achievement. Just you shouldn't make a big deal about the meaning of it. It's just a potential distraction from the actual achievement. With Buddhism (and similar concepts) I have finally found a framework which tells me where I am in a meaningful way. And now I see you must really read such texts as precise descriptions of something that can help orientation. With the occasional loner Zen of my past I never knew where I really stood. There's a dictum of an achievement that cannot be reversed. I am not sure about how this will go and honestly can't imagine I will be completely changed now. But currently I am definitely still bigger than I am in a way I am not used to.

  • I have touched behaviourism here, a topic which I find fascinating although it definitely doesn't explain everything and is actually very different from an occult, mystical or existential perspective. So I will write my ideas into this thread. So, they are talking about pecking orders, natural hierarchy and stuff. They get it all wrong if they see it as being carved in stone, I think. The alpha can always be challenged and so the hierarchy can change. Humans, if healthy, do that without violence but only by impressing the other in certain ways. Violence will even lead to lack of trust from the tribe, it's failure when it's about your position. And kids (of whatever age): challenging someone of the other sex is so dumb concerning your instincts. That doesn't make sense at all. An interesting thing, if we reduce it all to an archaic state, is the fact that every primitive tribe has got somebody in the position of the shaman, whatever the word for that person is in a given culture. And that's what you, the members of this group inevitably are in society. Problem can be that shamans have a bad standing in this alienated "science"-dominated civilization. The typical premature experience of ones own death while alive and visions or similar things which can occur have no place in the official version of reality - a potential danger. If any kids read this: doing magic, you'll not become a warrior, you'll be a shaman, defintely. That's where it leads. Maybe this explains why I actually find signs of a high ranking position in the pecking order in my physiology, but lack the social privileges one should expect to a large extent. I suspect it's because of this extra instinct-honoured role of the shaman. (At least I am healthy.) My theory broadening the classic pecking order model. If I will be attacked again by another hysterical dwarf I should bluntly say: "Sorry, I am not responsible for the economic crisis". They search for the guilty and think: "Couldn't it be that tall, intelligent, mysterious man there? I bet!"

  • The laws of stupidity or how "they" tic:

    The creative must be punished while criminals must be applauded. Philosophy is obscene while pornography contains wisdom. Shamans are Solipsists are Sadists.

    Sad but true!

  • And I see them defend suppositions that they merely bet on with cruel violence. "What I can fight for so strongly must be true." And how anxious they cling to their bets, which makes me even wonder what is really dependent on these. The shit consequence proved relative so I attempted to dissolve, liberate, improve. That's so unwelcome. Does the way of a real transcendence of this ever open again? Like when the angel-like friend just came out of nowhere with uncomplicated, relaxed saviour - just like that. What's the chase even after? Does anyone know? I am just asking.

  • OK, now one of those idiots has gone a step too far again, claiming an authority I don't grant to him. I basically don't accept any authority except for the rare cases when there's really one person with the masterplan. Point is, when these morons claim authority there's no rational basis for me to accept it at all. Have you ever observed someone attempting to brainwash you on that basis? That's hilarious, all they achieve is, they talk themeselves into the illusion of a triumph, while you are determined not to do what they say. Then they walk away and you make fun of them on the internet. Just in case there's an occult group behind it, who should be reading this here then: Beware! You know I can do serious harm on any of your members! In the meantime you have the chance to learn form me and eventually correct your moronic "philosophy". It's gonna be a catastrophe in case you show unable to do that. I promise! Accept the freedom and consciousness of any individual or you'll get seriously harmed, when you leave people no ther choice than to fight for their freedom! I have basically no conscience when it comes to that!

  • I must get over "bad karma". In a sense the tyrant or sadist and the vengeance-driven hater or rebel are twins. The first kind is afraid of other people's freedom, but because of what experience? Because they've been victim to the shit people do with their freedom, the same shit they do now. But they switched off some awareness and multiplied the anxiety that killed their respect by generalization, or nourish their hope that finally someone could be weaker so they could understand what their god once did to them. I never want to be so mislead. But fuck, our schools are full of teachers with such crippled souls, our companies full of such bosses, our parliaments full of such politicians, our courts full of such judges etc. Watch them, how they desperately struggle to enjoy their power, getting completely blind to what they do, because they always fail to bring about something of any use or value, how their foreheads merely darken with black clouds of stupidity, benumbed instead of joyful when they do what they want, or rather the only thing they could possibly think of, blind to possibilities and transcending ideas.

  • Some things stink! And then the tendency to believe in a conspiracy. If so, there could be a leader, someone responsible you could direct your anger at and shout at, so he gets it! On the other hand I have my results of intelligence tests and actually must assume that most people are more stupid (I guess you here would all score very high in IQ tests) and that that explains these lacks of ability I face. But this thread is called "These days" because I face this more often lately. For two years I was aware of much more mutual respect and common sense in society around me. It was a time of peace after I had been through a severe crisis. Another thing is I got a result which I can and should enjoy tomorrow, hope there won't be a last minute slap in the face by "fate" (that impersonal structure of events in time, you know). Is it all a backlash of working magic, then? All their fear of change, their fear of someone's liberty? Remember our Schzenfest (I said, yobfest) here? It's this weekend. The marches made me so wacky last year. It must be psychological warfare. But the yobs get drunk and love it. I'll try to survive. But then again, there's the result tomorrow and a free rock festival in Bonn on saturday. Zeitl0ch! Listen to me, things could be worse. But the marches - maybe the tribe tries to make the shaman wacky with it. Is it for weakening him or actually must the view of modern psychiatry be reversed here? LOL. If I get wacky I'll make the best out of it before it wears off. Felt an urge to say these things.

  • These morons make me sick. OK, you have someone who has read LaVey, Camus, and Sartre which literally makes him unbreakable. He has stood up many timesd again when he was down on the floor. He feels his self-confidence and power is only growing. Your (to the morons) strategy cannot work because it is build on the false assupmtion that you were able to control which makes you blind to nitty gritty concrete factors that exist and escape your perception, that you cannot compute. This fixed idea makes you lie to yourself that maybe there could be a use, while there's the opposite - harm, and no gain in anyway for any involved party, just futile work over several months. You weakened yourself with your effort. I am just getting warm. I know what to read next. When I made that knowledge my own it's gonna destroy the whole pack effortlessly.

  • That was an over-reaction where I assumed too much, I guess. Problem was, a person around me got all neurotic about something. The same neurosis had put me into the worst trouble of my life several times. That made me afraid and again assume an unlikely organized pattern. There was a repetitive unlikely pattern about that in the past, probably I am saved from it this time. It's really, in the past I have suffered form the pack acting as one organism against me without being able to rationally trace what interest these different people might have in common. I was so afraid that would happen again. It doesn't have anything to do with the Satanist person I mentioned, she was rather someone with a lot of common sense, understandably disappointed with society in her situation which made her turn to the dark side, but not with reason switched off. Seeing what seemed like a danger in the light of either chapel perilous, super organism, neurosis or karma is easier to bear. But if you have experienced such obvious patterns that function to your disadvantage, you are so fast to believe in a conspiracy. But it might all be behaviouristic, sadly the pack will trust someone completely neurotic if that person has got a certain status. Can't believe that? Look at history! Whatever! Today brings a more calm and peaceful atmosphere. And reading Sun Tzu might be worthwhile anyhow. It's one of those classics.

  • This could either go here or in the "Art of War" thread. I feel like being a bit more personal, so I'll post it here. Yes, then yesterday a Yuppie took a photograph of me. He believed I wouldn't see that. Ridiculous! I got all sunny drunk with my friends and we watched old New Wave videos. Fun. Win. Without any fight. Looks like compulsion, perhaps envy is the motivation. But I am not sure. There doesn't seem to be much rational sense in it. The way I exist, what can you win? You obviously don't see the larger scale, which Anton hints at wisely. You are not considering use and harm. What's the use, really? And you are definitely wasting all kinds of resources when you aim at me. The same strategy against someone else can bring you much more to win. This strategy against me has no chance for getting anything of value for you out of it. And then from the metaphysical perspective you morons act like slaves of my Alayavijnana. This pattern goes back to my childhood and you act completely according to it and are not a flexible enough warrior even to transcend it. That's a poor show. You look like you don't know why you are doing it. You look like slaves of a metaphysical but still relative force. You make an absurd living dead, a happy shadow your enemy. You had the choice of him not being your enemy. But if you were too dumb to consider that option, you'll eventually be the weaker one in strategy. To a certain extent I don't care much if you kill me or I survive. What's more important is that it will not make any difference to you. You battle is such a waste of time. What really changed when you defeated me? Like in a war, would you waste your time and power attacking a farm of an unpoltical family that has nothing to do with the war, that can even defend itself so you get in danger? If you make enemies, the forces against you rise in number. Is that logical? You weaken yourself.

  • Ha! The story continues. A long white limo just parked in front of our door - out here in the village. Well, if anybody expects a reaction, I don't know I treat it like it is a coincidence. I didn't see the driver. Healthy explanation is he needed to go to the bank a few houses away on his way. But it is Gibson atmosphere. Yes, and surely if this was a scene in "The Game" Michael Douglas would have just gone into the limo and nobody would have wondered about it. But this reality. You might get shot by Ice-T when you open the door. Isn't that much more realistic? Well, what stars do we have around? Die Toten Hosen and Wim Wenders. If they want to tell me something they should rather have their driver ring the bell, just like Charles Bukowski would have expected it. It's possible to have a drink with me and I can also talk when I drink - until very late even. Just didn't know what to say when I stood next to Andi once. If Scientology did this they keep using up their budget without any effect. However, if this is related to me, there are more simple and cheaper ways of communication. The limo was a funny effect. On the other hand it's a status symbol. If your idea is I show off a status symbol, what does behaviourism tell us about that? The dirtiest animals do that.

  • Ah, gosh! But that's really like chapel perilous becoming senseless. One day you have a yuppie taking a pic of you, the next day there's a white limo parked in front of your door. The problem is, there was one violent attack on me in the past in such a situation where I think I could have get killed. That makes me afraid. But I have a hidden ace, which I swear I'll not make public here. If there's anything behind it, they are gonna wonder why they even did it. That's what I made sure. More clearly: there will not be a USE if the morons succeed. There's rather gonna be the opposite.

  • So, yes that's paranoia, which currently seems dissolving for me again. I mean the question why that Yuppie took a photograph of me is still hanging over my head. But I've come to shrug. In this thread you really get a case study. I mentioned very real bad experiences first without much speculation about it. By now this series of unpleasant events has led me to expect the next one and then everything unusual fits in. I can reflect on it. I know it. I recognize it. I knew it would happen if the hits from others keep happening. I take my pills, I don't smoke pot anymore, and you see: after a few days there's a relaxation, and I come back to: I don't have to believe this. The beginning of the week someone said something, which was directly associated with that violent attack years ago or rather the circumstances of the attack. That brought back up all the suspicion and fear it could happen again.

  • You know what is often a good remedy against paranoia? Statistics! When you ever think an all-powerful world conspiracy is after you, look up how many people live in your city, in your country, in the world, you can than estimate how many don't give a damn about you at all, or how powerful a conspiracy must be to control them all and how unlikely that is. No, but I just looked up other statistics. The current situation on the job market around here is - boy I don't find words. I really can't blame anybody for not getting a job at the moment. It seems ridiculous to even keep trying anything. I better cultivate a decent Charles Bukowski lifestyle instead. So not getting a job was a major reason for frustration, but that's just like getting frustrated over an apple falling from a tree. Yoda, you demand the impossible! I am getting stuck here so much. This life has reached something like a wall, it just doesn't go on, it's not death but looks like an end of a road anyhow. Numb and stuck are the attributes. There will be glorious get-togethers of stuck people killing time, soon.

  • On sunday there was an accident on our street. A little girl on a bike got hit by a car and smashed through the windshield, both the girl and the driver got seriously hurt. She's in coma. Yesterday evening someoneone jumped in front of a train and it killed him the way he chose. He lived on our street and it happened not far away. It all happend within the range of estimated 300 metres. Tell me this is OK, and I'll beat you up like no one has before! And I am writing my new book here. What else should I do? Call hidden masters I often believe in for help? I have. I want this world to be a better place, don't know why I want it or how I got the idea - just know it's possible.

  • So that was my frustration blog in a stressful time of my life. Now, I dig it out because something relevant happened. There was one person acting extremely arseholy towards me back then. He terrorized somebody else first and I told him to stop. Then he tried to command me around. I refused. The he threatened me. I threatened him back unimpressedly and told him I wouldn't forget he had. What else did I do? I cursed him, of course. I don't have any use for such persons in my life. And now I see his life falling to pieces and him getting into fucking deep trouble. Thanx Magick, I love you!

    Edit: If anybody reading this is concerned with black or white magick, I repeat that I don't think in those categories. Making somebody's wishes come true and cursing an asshole is both for a good sake. I try to do everything I do for a good sake and minimize harm. And for that very reason some things make me angry.

  • Well, there's one remaining mega idiot I try to switch off the same way. So far I don't get an info back if anything worked. It should actually not be too hard for the demons, but it's taking its time. But they often did the job really decently when it took long.

  • Well, there's one remaining mega idiot I try to switch off the same way. So far I don't get an info back if anything worked. It should actually not be too hard for the demons, but it's taking its time. But they often did the job really decently when it took long.

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